Destination marriage? Don’t expect a lot of guests to attend

  • A new study finds that a majority of Americans agree that destination weddings are a bad idea.
  • Almost 20 percent said they had declined invitations to attend destination weddings.
  • When you say no, your best bet is to do it in person, if possible, and maybe send a gift anyway.

If you are thinking about planning a destination wedding, you might be wrong. Future wedding guests are often irritated when couples celebrate their nuptials in remote locations, citing cost as the main frustration – and the main reason for not attending. Fifty-six percent of Americans agree that planning a destination wedding is in bad taste for a couple, according to a Bankrate study.

But don’t worry, even wedding experts say engaged couples shouldn’t expect their friends and family to attend their destination wedding. “Not only are weddings expensive to plan for a couple, they can also cut guest budgets,” said Kelly Anne Smith, Bankrate analyst. “A person shouldn’t risk going into debt to celebrate the occasion with family friends,” she said.

Guests also don’t seem to be afraid to say ‘no’, even if that means jeopardizing a friendship. Almost one in five respondents said they turned down an invitation to a wedding because they could not afford to attend, according to the study.

“Just as you would regretfully decline if you have a scheduling conflict, it is perfectly appropriate to decline if the wedding does not work for your budget. Attending a wedding can be expensive, especially if travel is required. don’t delay – let the couple know as soon as possible, ”said Mariam Naficy, Founder and CEO of Minted.

Relationships can suffer

But in some cases, the married couple hold these absences against their friends and family. Of those who declined the invitations, 30 percent said their relationship with the married couple had suffered.

Americans spend an average of $ 628 per wedding they attend, including attending pre-parties like bridal showers and bachelorette activities in addition to the main event, according to a separate Bankrate study. These results “are very indicative of the financial strain a marriage puts on people at all levels,” Smith told CBS MoneyWatch.

Experts recommend that guests who plan not to attend notify the engaged couple immediately and share their rationale in person, if possible. “If they can, it will go a long way, compared to sending an SMS or an email,” Smith said.

Another way to soften the blow? Send a gift anyway, even if you don’t attend the wedding.

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