How to compromise with family to have a destination wedding

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Kati Mallory Photo & Design

A destination wedding is not for everyone, but you are convinced it is for you. Going to a beautiful seaside resort and saying your vows barefoot on the sand and surrounded by your close family and friends is your dream. For some family members, however, it feels like a nightmare, and that’s mostly because of the travel or the cost. Why can’t they just trust you that it will be a wedding that everyone will be happy to have attended? Read the common sense tips below before your next conversation with the family.

Related: How to Plan the Perfect Destination Wedding

Ask specifically what they oppose.

If they’ve only complained about the idea of ​​a destination wedding without giving details of what’s bothering them, you need to find out. Is the destination too far away for elderly parents? Is your choice of resort too expensive for most? Do they think you should get married at the church you’ve attended all your life rather than on a beach far from home? Compromise cannot be made until you understand exactly what their concerns are.

Respond to their concerns.

Maybe they’re worried that it will take too long or that there will be too many connections to reach the destination. Instead of getting married on Bora Bora, which takes over 17 hours to fly from Chicago, choose an island that will be easier to access for most guests. For example, flying to Jamaica takes less than three hours from Atlanta, and Puerto Rico is a four hour flight from New York. Are they worried that your distant marriage will not incorporate important religious traditions for the family? Perhaps you could consider an intimate, religious wedding in your hometown to appease the family and then party at your destination.

Is cost an issue? Offer a range of different hotel options to guests, including more affordable properties, or consider subsidizing costs where possible. After all, not all guests can afford to stay in the five-star hotel where the wedding is taking place. Offer hotels in three price points: economy, moderate and luxury. Look for group discounts, Airbnbs, and whatever else you can find to make your wedding as desirable as possible for your guest list. Use your wedding website as a travel hub where guests can find information on restaurants, activities, ground transportation, and childcare.

Explain why you want a wedding away from home.

Do they realize that it was your dream to get married outdoors by the water’s edge with a small guest list rather than in a fancy ballroom with 150 people, some of whom you don’t know? If this is the wedding you’ve always dreamed of, share the reasons behind it.


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