Love Letters: Were We Wrong to Skip a Destination Wedding During COVID?

WELL, LOOK HERE! The love letters are back!

Honestly, they never got anywhere. It’s been a busy summer here at Soul In Stereo Studios and I haven’t had a chance to dive into Cupid’s inbox in four months!

I hope you haven’t contacted the divorce attorneys in my absence. Let’s catch up on some questions today.

Send your requests to [email protected], or find me on Twitter @etbowser. Just provide your initials or a fun nickname.

Here is the question of the day:

My friend invited me and a few mutual friends to her destination wedding during the peak of COVID. Obviously, we couldn’t make it. Well, this friend was upset and cut us off. She recently came back to apologize.

Were we wrong to attend? Was she wrong to interrupt us? Should we accept apologies?

The wedding skippers

Back when I got married—those golden days before Twitter and auto-tune rappers—I said this to my guests: If you can’t come to my wedding, that’s cool. Don’t say you’re coming and don’t show up. ESPECIALLY if you are at the wedding. This energy of Lauryn Hill will upset the whole ceremony.

Of course, we had a few goons at the wedding party who didn’t show up. And hopefully their credit score will be lower than a 2002 Lil Jon hit.

I’ll save my personal slander for another time but, in your fiancée’s defense, I understand the overwhelming amount of stress that comes with preparing for the wedding and the disappointment that strikes when you realize your team won’t be there to share this monumental moment.

Being mad that your friends can’t travel to a distant place when everyone’s money is extremely funny DURING A GLOBAL PANDEMIC is just a little unreasonable.

Yes, she was wrong to interrupt you and she knows it. That’s why she tries to redeem herself.

Should you accept his apology? My instinct says yes. As I explained above, marriage stress is another type of anxiety. It drives us all crazy. As long as she hasn’t slashed your tires or beat up your 4-year-old daughter or claimed that Jacquees is the king of R&B — you know, something DOWNWARDLY UNPARDIBLE — I’m saying she deserves a little grace.

I know the move to 2022 is NEVER FORGIVE ANYBODY FOR ANYTHING (unless you love the person, then FOREVER FOREVER) but this spat isn’t worth killing a friendship.

Showing forgiveness is not a weakness, y’all. Anyone who can admit they messed up is money in my book. Show them love.

Unless they’re a Jacquees fan.

Question 2:

Mr. Bowser, this is a very, very important question that needs to be settled in my relationship: who controls the aux cable while driving?

Shut up and drive

Ah, the eternal question. Many relationships have dissolved due to an irregular playlist.

The rules in my car are simple – whoever drives controls the helper. Yeah, that might suck for the passenger (I just got back from a 6 hour road trip; my wife did most of the driving, so I had to listen to Beyonce’s horse album about four times in a loop…) but since the driver does the majority of the work, they get the majority of the benefits.

But if you want to avoid listening to City Girl’s Greatest Hits (both songs) while your girlfriend is driving, there’s a simple solution: start a real CONVERSATION. In my experience, it speeds up time, keeps the driver more alert, and keeps your ears out of trash.

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